Chapter 79 – Reincarnation

Chapter 79 – Reincarnation

The memories of my previous life were mostly faint.

Surprisingly, bad memories were easily replaced by good ones.

No matter how difficult the past was, once it passed, it also felt as though it was somehow tolerable. Even the struggles of holding onto a life that was constantly unhappy could be recalled, in retrospect, as something I could manage to endure.

Memories of the past were easily distorted like this.

But even in the midst of that, there was something that remained vivid.

The empty void was one such thing.

Having grown up as an orphan, it was only natural that I yearned for a family. Words like parents, home, affection… always carved a large, unfilled hole in my chest.

The more desperately I craved them, the larger the void grew.

I yearned for things I could not fill on my own.

That was the greatest misfortune I had.

If the memories of my previous life were as dark as ink, this life was like clear water—diluting the dark memories and eventually making them clear. Thus, I had finally come to realize.

That even if it meant borrowing another's body, belonging within the boundary of a family right now was happiness to me.

Having once felt that warm warmth, I could never return to the time when I did not know it.

Parasitizing upon Tang San-ho's misfortune, I obtained what I had wanted all my life. The vacancy of another was ecstatic. Though guilt occasionally reared its head and could not be ignored, the peaceful daily life was incredibly gratifying.

I was no longer lonely.

There was no longer any deep void swallowing me up, either.

That was enough.

………I had lived thinking that way, but.

***

“·········.”

San-ho stared at the person standing before him with a face still shocked.

Since only a year or two had passed, it was a face he could not possibly fail to recognize.

The young boy's face had delicate lines, and his long eyelashes created a sorrowful atmosphere. With small and harmonious features that made the moniker of Dark Flower not feel out of place, his fifteen-year-old self was staring at him.

“Could you possibly…”

An unrefined, clear suspicion burst out.

However, before he could finish speaking, the entity in front of him spoke first.

“That's right.”

The child, smiling faintly, took a step forward.

“I am Tang San-ho.”

“·········!!!”

San-ho opened and closed his mouth helplessly.

Why wouldn't he? When the original owner of the body he had entered was standing right in front of him.

The real Tang San-ho, whom the family he had wanted so much loved.

For a moment, a quiet silence fell.

It was San-ho who broke that silence.

“What on earth is this? No, you… weren't you dead?”

“That's right, I died. But at the same time, I am alive. Right here.”

Tang San-ho spoke as he raised his finger and tapped his chest a couple of times.

“·········.”

If he were to face Tang San-ho, there were far too many things he had to ask. What was the identity of the secret manual, why did he leave it scattered in various places, and what on earth was Heaven's Mandate… A mountain of accumulated questions clamored to be resolved first, unable to wait for their turn.

However, setting aside all those questions, the one that burst out first was a query that even he had not expected.

“Did you call me?”

It was a realization like a bolt of lightning.

He felt a certainty that Tang San-ho wanted something from him.

And also that it was related to the tragedy he had been shown repeatedly.

The Tang San-ho he faced wore an incomprehensible smile.

“Yes. I called you here.”

“……How?”

“All things that have life repeat life and death within the wheel of samsara. That is a cycle with no beginning and no end. What this means is…”

“·········.”

“It means you are another life of mine, and I am another life of yours.”

San-ho furrowed his brow at the unbelievable words.

“Is that possible? No, chronologically, does that make sense?”

“Because samsara has no beginning and no end. Since time repeats within the loop of cycle, it is impossible to know which life is first and which is later. It merely cycles.”

“Even so, what about the memories? They remained as they were.”

“Yes, normally, it would be impossible. But…”

Tang San-ho, who paused for a moment, lightly gestured with his hand.

The tragic disaster gradually faded, and a pure white light filled the space. It was the world of the mindscape.

“I chose to make it so. To fill the place I left behind with another me. It was possible because we are connected by a single soul.”

“What do you mean…”

San-ho's eyes narrowed at the words whose meaning he could not comprehend.

“However, right now, there is something more important than that.”

Tang San-ho, who had been answering questions faithfully, suddenly hardened his face and said firmly.

“The memory you saw will soon become reality.”

“······!!!”

An unpleasant sensation as if his heart had sunk struck him. San-ho swept the inside of his mouth, which had become a mess and where the fishy taste of blood still lingered.

The tragedy that he had desperately hoped was a dream.

That horrible scene, which corrupted his mind just by looking at it…

Would become reality?

“…How do you know that?”

“Since I was young, I often dreamed. The dreams that were overly vivid soon became reality just as they were. Since I had already doubted and tested it several times, I had no choice but to believe.”

“But you are already…”

“Yes. So I must have seen your future, not mine.”

He felt as if he had been struck hard on the head.

Ah.

Only then did San-ho feel that he understood the phrases of the third secret manual. The Butterfly Dream, the loop of samsara, the succeeding life and death… All of those were actually revealing his life itself.

“Heaven never makes a mistake. Even if it is impossible, if it is ordained, it will surely make it possible. That is what Heaven's Mandate is.”

Tang San-ho quietly laid out what he knew.

“·········.”

To summarize Tang San-ho's subsequent words, it was as follows.

Exactly when this would happen was uncertain. However, all that was known was that this future would definitely come. As for a clue, he said that the version of himself shown in those scenes was always after he had passed adulthood.

And so, hoping that he would be sufficiently prepared for the coming future, he had orchestrated this event.

He asked how he had made it possible, but the returned answer was the same. He said that once he attained enlightenment, the causality of all things in creation (/) would become visible. Although San-ho had doubts about the vague answer, the response that it could not be known yet was repeated.

While listening to his words, San-ho suddenly raised a question.

“Wait, so what you're saying is… you called me to prepare for that future.”

He had offered two choices.

“But you want me to choose? Whether to stop that or run away?”

“Yes. Because it will be a very difficult and painful path.”

“Ha…”

Letting out a dry laugh, San-ho scratched his eyebrow.

To think he would put the option of running away into the choices.

It was utterly baffling that he had gone to such lengths to orchestrate this, only to hand over a choice in the end. Was it because he had been raised so preciously?

“You seem to think the misfortune and trials ahead are some kind of natural disaster, but I have always lived like that. All kinds of incidents and accidents were waving at me, telling me welcome, you know?”

“……”

“Which means adding one more doesn't really change much. No, if I just get past that once, in the end, we live happily ever after. Isn't that how it goes? Then isn't it rather a good thing?”

If he could overcome that trial and receive a place where his life could finally take root as a reward, wouldn't this be good fortune instead of misfortune? Wouldn't it be an opportunity to enjoy what he had always wanted, without any guilt? San-ho suddenly had such a thought.

“I'm not running away. Besides, knowing everything and being able to prepare for it—that's a huge privilege.”

“·········.”

At San-ho's words, which were beyond positive and even reassured him, this time Tang San-ho blinked his eyes.

He had thought that if presented with such a destiny, San-ho would naturally scream, get angry, and deny reality. Unfortunately, he did not know that San-ho was already thoroughly calloused to this kind of thing.

“But, why didn't you tell the others?”

“Because if they come to know the secrets of heaven, that itself will become karma in the next life.”

“Hmm…”

He reasonably glossed over things that were hard to understand with modern common sense. It seemed to roughly mean that one must not leak the secrets of heaven. The Buddhist view of reincarnation came to mind, where accumulating bad karma would lead to being born as a beast in the next life.

San-ho asked another question.

“But is it true that this future will really come? There are already two faces I know in the enemy camp. No matter how much I think about it, they are people who shouldn't be there.”

“What I showed you was the memory before it changed. Since you yourself are already an existence that has deviated from the natural order, I do not know what will change because of that. Moreover, I was surprised as well. I thought eliminating them in advance was the way to prepare, but to think you have already made two of them your allies.”

“·········.”

Hearing those words, San-ho stroked his chin and fell into thought for a moment.

In the future Tang San-ho saw, Tae Ju-ha and Mua stood in the enemy camp. However, that was not the case now. Judging by the situation not long ago, Mua did not choose Tae-oh. If so, it meant that San-ho had changed their destinies as well.

Although he could not avoid the coming future, if it was only to the extent of changing it…

‘Wouldn't it be possible?’

A brilliant light flashed in San-ho's eyes.

“I have a good idea.”

“An idea?”

“Even if we cannot avoid the future, we can change it. As The Art of War says, winning without fighting is the true victory. A victory that spills as little blood as possible is best. So…”

“······?”

“Let's coax them one by one.”

Tang San-ho blinked at the words that were indeed entirely unexpected.

“If it's something unavoidable, isn't it wise to prepare for it as safely as possible?”

“Is that possible?”

“You said it yourself. That I turned two of the enemies into my allies. One could be a coincidence, but from two on, I think of it as change.”

“·········.”

“Besides, though they don't have it, we have a sure card, don't we? Seeing the future. We've memorized the faces of the hostile force with our own eyes. And since we have information gained from seeing that tragedy repeatedly, I think we can at least try.”

“…What if we fail to recruit them?”

A clear worry and anxiety appeared on Tang San-ho's face.

“At that time, there is an even better way. From what I have seen, the Jianghu seems to treat the debt of saving a life (/) as something extremely significant.”

“So?”

“So, we just need to make them owe us a life-saving debt, right?”

“·········?”

Tang San-ho, blinking his eyes in confusion, asked.

“What does that mean? No, in the first place, will situations where their lives are in danger occur that often…?”

“Well, if it really doesn't work.”

San-ho shrugged his shoulders shamelessly and continued.

“We can just kill them once and bring them back to life.”

“·········.”

What on earth did that actually mean?

Normally… is that called a life-saving debt?

The words he could not bring himself to ask lingered in Tang San-ho's mouth.

San-ho was great in many ways. He did not get frustrated or broken, nor did he try to avoid danger. Tang San-ho could not help but admire his amazing mindset of 'fate will take care of itself, and I will do things my way.'

“You…”

Instead of finishing his words, Tang San-ho, who was about to say something, smiled.

You are much stronger.

Another life found within the time of several kalpas.

Tang San-ho quietly stared at the seventeen-year-old San-ho, who had already passed his fifteen-year-old self. His eyes, which had grown firmer in the meantime, were looking at him clearly.

“·········.”

San-ho also felt his gaze.

Then, their minds reached each other completely.

Thus, San-ho recalled one memory.

It was the appearance of Tang San-ho he had seen when he first learned the first secret manual.

– You must never forget the reason you came here. That is your Heaven's Mandate.

At that time, he thought that learning the secret manual was his Heaven's Mandate, but that was just a starting point. Only then did San-ho realize the reason he had come here. The fifteen-year-old Tang San-ho was facing him with eyes full of hope, trust, worry, and relief.

Ah. So that was it.

To protect the loved ones, the me of this life desperately yearned for tomorrow.

‘I am… the tomorrow you were waiting for.’

Upon realizing that fact, all the memories he had lived began to settle in San-ho's head. Although it was painful at times and sad often, the moments of a life that was mostly full of love were stored intact under the name of memory.

‘·········!!’

Memories are composed of various things.

An event is only a single clue; it does not occupy everything. Looking back, most of the memory used to be engraved deep in the chest by the scent, touch, or sound of that moment.

Tang San-ho's memories were the same.

He could smell the decoction that had been brewed for a long time and the familiar scent of grass from the annex. Sawol's voice calling him, the blunt yet warm concern of Tang Hae-soo, the marten's fur tickling his fingertips, and the roughness of the books were what composed Tang San-ho.

And so, San-ho felt a tight sensation swelling within him like never before.

A sense of fulfillment rising from the deepest depth.

A solid ground that would root him, who had been drifting and wavering.

It was love.

When all his memories returned, San-ho became a true butterfly. There was no need to distinguish whether he was the butterfly or the butterfly was him. For he had finally obtained what he had wanted all along. Parents, home, affection… such things were no longer desires that birthed a void.

They were already the foundation supporting him.

If so, there was only one thing to do.

He had to protect the things in his hands.

So that no one could snatch his happiness away.

It was then.

Small cracks appeared here and there in the mindscape where they lingered. The pure white light fractured like a spider's web.

Seeing that, San-ho asked urgently.

“Wait a minute, just tell me what this secret manual is. I still don't know what kind of power the final volume holds.”

“That is…”

Tang San-ho, who was about to say something, suddenly trailed off at the end of his words.

Choosing his words for a moment, he smiled faintly and offered another answer.

“You will find out when you wake up.”

“You must use it carefully.”

It seemed as though a faint sound like that was heard.

How was he supposed to use it carefully when he did not even know what power it held?

However, it did not take long for San-ho to understand those words.